Monthly Blog
Let's create a world where everyone feels loved, nurtures one's full potential to live a fulfilling life.
April 2025
Daily nurturing moment
Last year, I made a quiet promise to myself to post a daily nurturing moment vlog on social media. The spark came from an unexpected place, a documentary about Martha Stewart. At 83 years old, having written 100 books and continuing to blog daily after 18 years, she radiated a deep sense of purpose. She wasn’t chasing fame or recognition. She simply wanted to share her knowledge, passion, and way of living with the world.
Watching her, something stirred within me. I felt humbled. I had only written two books. But I realized it wasn’t about comparison. It was about contribution. So I made a vow to write a book every year, a blog every month, and a vlog every day, as my way of offering something loving to the world. A small ripple, perhaps. But one made with heart.
At first, the daily vlogs were for others. I wanted to share slivers of hope, beauty and positivity, reminders that we are loved, that life still holds wonder. But slowly, I realized, I was the one being nurtured the most.
Each day, I stepped into the world with soft eyes, searching for something to share. And without fail, life offered me a gift. A cherry tree in full blush scattering soft pink petals like raindrops on grey pavement. A swan gliding effortlessly on still water, its presence a quiet lesson in being enough. Or the sun, pouring unconditional warmth on all of us without asking who deserves it most.
Even on heavy days, a moment of grace would find me. A bird’s enthusiastic chirping. A baby’s smile. The gentle wind brushing my cheek. I started to notice that the world was always loving me, if only I paused long enough to feel it.
This practice became more than a habit. It became a way of being. A sacred ritual. A vow to live with presence, softness, and gratitude. I set out to nurture the world. And in the end, it was the world that nurtured me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
March 2025
The greatest gift
The greatest gift we can offer another costs nothing, yet it is priceless. It is the gift of presence, of showing up, fully and completely, with an open heart and mind , and undivided attention. It is the quiet yet powerful act of making someone feel truly heard, seen and valued, one conversation at a time.
It is as if, in that moment, we hold up an invisible lantern, casting a warm glow upon them, illuminating who they are beneath the surface, without judgment, distraction, or the need to respond or fix, but simply to witness. The world softens, the noise fades, and time slows until all that remains is this sacred space between two hearts.
We watch as their eyes flicker with excitement, as their voices rise and fall like waves upon the shore, as their energy shift with the rhythm of their emotions. We notice the smallest details—the way they tuck their hair behind their ear when they’re deep in thought, the way their lips curve ever so slightly before a smile fully blooms, the way their hands dance through the air as they speak of something that sets their soul on fire.
And as we continue to listen with love, something beautiful happen. We begin to see the world differently. We begin to realize that every person, in their own way, is a living, breathing story of inspiration, passion, and quiet strength. That beneath the layers of everyday life, each heart beats with a longing to be known, understood, and cherished just as they are.
So try it. See someone, truly see them. Listen not just with your ears, but with your heart. Offer them the gift of loving presence, and in return, you may just find that the greatest gift is given back to you.
Let me know how it changes the way you see the world.
February 2025
Our Journey Matters
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine—what if, overnight, all your wildest dreams came true? Tomorrow, you awaken as the very best version of yourself. You open your eyes in your dream home, surrounded by love. You step into your dream life, gliding effortlessly through the world in a way that once seemed impossible. How would you feel? Most likely, you’d be overjoyed—ecstatic, even.
But now, fast-forward to the end of your life. Will you still feel that same joy? Maybe. But life is unpredictable. Along the way, you may face heartbreak, illness, or loss. Time will leave its mark. The dreams you once cherished may evolve, and the things you once longed for may no longer matter.
We often wish for our dreams to manifest quickly and effortlessly, believing that happiness lies in their fulfillment. But life doesn’t stop once we achieve them. There is no final destination, no moment where time pauses and says, “You’ve made it.” Life keeps moving. Change is the only constant.
So, rather than waiting for the “perfect” day to arrive, embrace today. Be grateful for this moment, for this chapter in your journey. None of us know when our story will end. Tomorrow is never promised.
Live fully. Love deeply. Give your all—not someday, but now. Because when the final page is written, the beauty of life won’t be measured by the dreams we achieved, but by the way we truly lived.
January 2025
As we welcome 2025, let’s redefine resolutions to way of being
Another year is unfolding before us. Have you made your resolutions for 2025 yet? And if so—how have you fared with them in the past? Studies show that around 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions by February, and only 8% stick with them throughout the year. If you’re like me, that statistic hits close to home. For years, I drafted lists of goals with hopeful enthusiasm, only to find those ambitions quietly slipping away after a few weeks. The same resolutions seemed to come back year after year, unfulfilled promises piling up like unopened letters to myself.
Last year, a friend suggested something different. Instead of focusing on goals, how about listing emotions that I want to feel? I crafted a list of feelings I wanted to experience in 2024. Excitement. Feelings seemed lighter—more forgiving. But as the days passed, I realized something important: Feelings alone didn’t shape my actions. For example, I yearned to feel excited. But how could I summon excitement for the ordinary moments—doing laundry or facing a difficult day? I noticed that even when I felt thrilled, there was an instinct to ground myself, returning to balance. And that’s when it hit me—I was chasing the wrong thing.
Instead of aiming to feel excited, I was actually longing to be motivated. The shift was subtle but powerful because instead of just waiting to feel something, I was directing my emotions, thoughts and actions through my way of being. Whether I was cleaning my home, nursing a cold, or exploring a new city—I could choose to be inspired and give my best in each moment. In this way, I will have no regrets regardless of the outcome because deep inside I know that I gave my all.
So, as we step into 2025, let me ask you this: Who do you want to be in each moment of the coming year? Let’s set aside fleeting lists of accomplishments and emotions. Instead—be whatever you desire, such as be curious, be kind, be bold, be compassionate. Because who you choose to be will shape the life you create. What will 2025 look like for you?
December 2024
NurtuRing – creating positive ripple effect
Have you ever wondered how many people you have deeply touched in your life? The kind of encounter, which changed the course of the peoples’ lives, and altered the way they saw the world. An imprint so moving that it touched not just their mind or body but also their soul and spirit.
If you can think of one such person, that is already a great start. Making a profound difference in just one person’s life is extremely valuable. Just as Mother Theresa said “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” Every single person you nurtured from the bottom of your heart can inspires ten more, reaching the whole world in just ten rounds! We can create a ripple effect of positivity that spreads far and wide, starting from ourselves, and with each and every person we invest our time and energy to connect deeply, and be there for them as they celebrate their highs and seek comfort in their lows.
So as we come to the end of 2024, and we wonder about our new year resolution, how about choosing one person you would like to nurture in 2025. It could be yourself, or someone from your family, friend circle, work, community or charity. Decide 3 things you will do to make that happen. And simply observe as you create NurtuRing.
November 2024
Let go of limiting beliefs with simple 3 steps
Do you believe that you’re not good enough? If so, you’re not alone. For much of my life, this feeling was a dark cloud that followed me. Growing up in a financially unstable home and attending a private school, I constantly felt less worthy than my affluent classmates. That shame became a relentless drive to prove my worth through achievements, titles, and possessions. Yet, even when I amassed them all, the emptiness lingered. I still didn’t feel good enough.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. The truth is, the power to break free from beliefs that do not serve us lies within us. When we release these limiting ideas, we can start to feel whole, and in time, the world reflects that back to us. The path is surprisingly simple: Be aware, heal, and grow.
Be aware
When feelings of inadequacy arise, take a few quiet minutes to tune into your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Close your eyes, or write down your answers to these questions: What triggered this feeling? Was it a comment, a situation, or an unexpected outcome? How does this feeling show up—in thoughts, a physical sensation, self-critical words or compulsive behavior? Acknowledge it. Simply becoming aware helps us begin to unearth and understand these patterns.
Heal
Sit with your discomfort, acknowledging it rather than burying it deep inside yourself. This way, over time, it will gradually pop up less strong and often, and fade away. After a moment, thank the feeling—strange as it sounds, it’s been trying to protect you. “Thank you. I know you were trying to help me and protect me. But it does not have to be so loud and so often. Now I am giving you a new job and it is (a specific task).”
Feelings of not good enough, or shame, can cause our brain to react as if we are in physical danger. This activates our sympathetic nervous system and triggers defense responses like fight, flight, or freeze. That is why the uncomfortable feelings we feel may be alerting and protecting us. But by thanking it and gently reassigning it to a new role, we can redirect its energy to focus on something beneficial instead. Be as detailed as possible in the new job description to be more effective.
If negative self-talk lingers, imagine hearing it in a funny voice like Mickey Mouse’s; this makes it harder to take it seriously. Or, if an image keeps flashing in your mind, “paint” over it with a big brush in black or white paint, covering it up, and throw it away. Or, use your breath to release physical discomfort; touch the area in your body that is painful with both hands, and breathe in through your nose. As you exhale through your mouth, make a sound—a whisper, a yell, whatever feels right—to release the emotion.
Grow
Finally, reflect on what lessons this experience has taught you. What do you want to stop doing? What do you want to start doing? Then, give yourself a warm hug and say, “I am good enough, and I love myself unconditionally.”
Each time you feel those limiting beliefs, try this three-step approach. It’s not a quick fix, but over time, you’ll release repressed emotions and let go of beliefs that no longer serve you to notice greater resilience, confidence, and a deeper acceptance of your worth. Soon, you’ll be on a path to realizing your full potential and leading a fulfilling life.
October 2024
Nurture lasting relationships
Do you nurture lasting relationships? Do you have family members and friends, who love you unconditionally, and offer you genuine, heartfelt connections? Or pets that provide companionship? Or supportive mentors or teachers who guide and inspire you in personal or professional growth? Are there any colleagues who encourage you and provide emotional support? Do you belong to a community that offer a sense of belonging?
According to Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest research on happiness, deep relationships are essential to happiness and resilience. The groundbreaking study has followed over 700 people from diverse backgrounds since 1938 to reveal that close, meaningful relationships—not wealth or fame—are the strongest predictors of a happy and fulfilling life. Those with warm personal connections lived longer and experienced better well-being. Even as physical pain increased with age, emotional support from loved ones lifted their mood. Yet, if you feel lonely, you are not alone. Loneliness is common. Depending on sources, 1 in 2 to 3 people feel lonely. Most studies also agree that young people feel lonelier than older people, with up to 7 in 10 Generation Z’ers feeling alone most or some times. Nonetheless, loneliness can be detrimental to health. Dr. Vivek Murthy, former Surgeon General of the United States, compares loneliness to being as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
The good news is loneliness is a choice. We can choose to be on our own due to our personal struggles that cause us to withdraw or avoid difficult emotions in close relationships. We can attribute life pressures, emotional burnouts, fear of vulnerability or emotional closeness, unresolved conflicts, or taking relationships for granted as an excuse. Alternatively, we can decide to do whatever is in our own power to choose emotional connection, social wellbeing and fulfilment in relationships to feel loved, included and supported. For our happiness and wellbeing depends on it.
So here are some useful tips to nurture close relationships. First, make a list of the people you hold close and dear. Studies suggest that quality is more important than quantity, and most people benefit from having around five close relationships. It is essential to choose the five people wisely and build deep connections with those who love and support you, celebrate your successes, and stand by you in difficult times. It’s important to distance yourself from negative or narcissistic influences, even though it may be challenging at first. Because everyone deserves to be respected and treated with dignity. Instead of staying passive, try speaking with them about how their behaviors affect your feelings, and what can be done to move the relationship forward constructively. If that does not work after a period of time, build healthy boundaries and forgive them. Then, expand your social network. Seek out individuals who share your interests, such as joining a local club or an online community that aligns with your passions, and where you can be true to yourself while preserving your relationships. Second, whenever you’re tempted to put your close relationships on the back burner, reconsider. Remember, whatever is keeping you busy can be done by someone else, but your close relationships that you cherish need you, just as you need them. Third, disagreements in any relationship are normal, but in tough moments, at least one of the two needs to pause, set aside ego, and fight for the relationship if it’s worth saving. When emotions cool, this approach allows space to rebuild and grow stronger. Try to avoid holding onto anger or saying things that can’t be unsaid.
As we close, let me leave you with a powerful story. An acquaintance of mine, on her way home one evening, called her husband, who was upset that she had left him alone. Instead of reacting with frustration, she responded with love, reassuring him that she was hurrying back to cook him a warm meal. Tragically, that would be their last conversation, as he took his own life shortly after. Even in her grief, she finds solace knowing that her final words to him were filled with kindness and care. This story serves as a profound reminder to cherish our close relationships, to nurture them with love and compassion in every moment, because tomorrow is never guaranteed.
So if you’re questioning whether to invest in the relationships that matter, ask yourself: “If today were my last day, how would I choose to love?” Maybe you’ll find the courage to reconnect with those you’ve lost touch with or deepen the bonds with those around you. Life is fleeting, and in the end, it’s the love we share that truly lasts. Let’s give nurturing our relationships the space they deserve and embrace the happiness and wellbeing that come from love, today.
September 2024
Live true to our values
On August 29, 2024, the United States Democratic Party Presidential nominee and vice president Kamala Harris gave her first TV interview on CNN. She was challenged about her policy changes during her career, ranging from banning fracking to immigration. To which she replied “my values have not changed” three times. Everyone is free to agree or disagree with what she said. One thing that I shared the same opinion with the vice president is how important our values are.
Values are a cornerstone of living a fulfilling life, in addition to purpose. They are a compass on our journey towards our north star. We can change our direction, destinations and opinions as we travel the path called life with new experiences and facts. But our north, south, east, and west, and life’s intention should remain true to who we truly are.
Many of us don’t know exactly what our values are because they are not our own. Our values have been shaped by influences around us. Our family, friends, culture, education, religion or society may have instilled a belief within us that somehow became our own. Most of us can explain what these generally accepted values are and how we can abide by them. But we struggle to explain why we should do so. Other times, we feel that our values can be ignored once in a while because there are no strict rules anyway. But if our values are compromised over time, our body and mind will remind us. We may feel an ache or unease in our body or hear a little voice telling us something is wrong. And if we keep betraying our values over and over again, the tiny prompts can blow up to something bigger. Our way of being, feeling, thinking and doing will be disrupted until we get our bearings right again. An existential mid-life crisis, burnout, anxiety attacks or running into the same problems can sometimes be alerts to stop moving further away from our values.
It took me over 20 years to realize that my values were not concrete enough to articulate, let alone uphold. I gradually betrayed my true self time and again until I could not recognize the person looking back in the mirror. Looking back, I was silent in too many meetings, even though I had something important to say that would make a difference, because I wanted to fit in or not look stupid. I accepted situations that did not seem quite right because I thought life was a compromise. But not anymore. Now, for every job, action, speech or thought I have, I ask myself, am I being true to my values.
Explicitly stating our values is very powerful because we have something concrete to measure all of ourselves against. Knowing exactly what to do when our values are challenged can also helpful. If we struggle to find our values, touching a part of our body and listening to it carefully can be beneficial. For example, by touching my throat, I realized that one of my values is to speak the truth. I also decided that if speaking the truth will genuinely add value to a person or situation and is the right thing to do, I will do so no matter what the consequences are. So how about taking a moment to write down your values, and actions to take when they are tested, so that you can live true to yourself every day.
August 2024
Be resilient
July 2024 was the best month in my life. My husband, Alain, and I went on our bucket list road trip across Italy, with 16 stops from north to the tip of the heel south. Mesmerizing beauty and diversity surprised us in every place, from nature, people, history, cuisine, culture and more. Each unique spot offered us countless unforgettable experiences and valuable life lessons. But one place stood out. Matera.
As one of the oldest cities in the world, Matera has over 10,000 years history from the Paleolithic Age. Some of you may recall seeing it in the 007 movie, No Time to Die. With honeycomb shaped caves carved into mountains and crowded primitive stone dwellings, Matera felt like stepping into a magical place from the past. The city was extremely dry and scorching hot. With little greenery and no water in sight, there was just rocks and more rocks. Despite the sunny cloudless blue sky, a heavy sense of scarcity hanged in the air.
We explained to our thoughtful tour guide Cosimo that we were visiting Matera to learn from the past so that we can move on to the future. We asked him what he learnt from Matera. He answered simply “resilience.” He explained that Matera was very poor in the past. Many of its cave dwelling inhabitants lived short life spans in unhygienic conditions alongside their animals, even up to 1950s. Animals were placed at the back of the caves to provide heat for the families. Their excrement had to be hidden inside the caves so that malnourished children would not eat them before they could be used as fertilizer. With no running water available, eels were grown in stagnant wells to be eaten as Christmas treat. Then, an Italian politician, Carlo Levi, shed light on the plight of the city by calling Matera “Shame of Italy.” This led to government intervention and relocation of thousands of inhabitants to modern housing.
Most of the dwellings are now owned by the government. But some people are returning back. Renovating the old dwellings to live or rent out to tourists on Airbnb. Cosimo proudly claimed “Matera is rising from its ashes.” It is recognizing its past and healing its wounds to recover its dignity. It is reinventing itself from a city of shambles to capital of culture. Cosimo added that the city was continuously inhibited for thousands of years because its inhabitants never gave up, no matter how hard the hardship or stigma was. Cosimo lightened up when he showed us tiny weeds growing out of little cracks in the rocky ground. Fragrant peppermint, succulent figs and leafy arugula. Even the plants in Matera were resilient. With limited resources, they found a way not only to survive but contribute to society.
There were many points in my life when I wanted to give up. But the challenges I faced seemed meaningless compared to Matera and its inhabitants who remained resilient for more than 10,000 years. So I promised to myself in Matera. Whenever I want to give up, I will always remember Matera. And keep going, growing and serving the world.
July 2024
Trust and surrender to the present moment
Have you ever wanted something so badly that it hurt? When it did not come your way, did you get upset or give up? Life can seem so unfair sometimes. But when I look back at the biggest wow moments in my life, it was always preceded by a heart wrenching closing of a door, before an incredible new door opened. The universe always had a grander plan beyond my wildest dreams when it delivered a no.
For example, after graduating from my college, I desperately wanted to work in the US. No job application was successful. Until a prestigious financial firm found me in Indiana Bloomington through the Singapore government, and approached me to establish a new research center in Asia at just 22 years old. This led me to fall in love with my husband Alain, and move from Singapore to Switzerland. Had I found a job straight out of college in Indianapolis, I would not have been available to take this route. The universe had also equipped me with skills I needed beforehand. Working at the call center, I learnt how to present an idea concisely and convincingly over the phone, which came in handy during conference calls. As a waitress, I learnt how to multi-task and remember key information. Plus, I impressed the hiring manager during an interview at a Japanese restaurant by knowing every sushi name in Japanese.
So whenever I catch myself wishing for the future to arrive at a specific moment of my choosing, in a version that my limited imagination can fathom, I take a deep breath. I become conscious that it is not real. It is only the voices in my head. I breathe again. My focus on breath will shift me to the present moment immediately. If it is still hard to relax in the moment, I remind myself of an experience in the past, when things turned out okay in the end, even if it felt unbearable to live through them. I think back to myself in Indiana, at 22 years old, and where I am today. I say out loud to myself, “I trust and surrender to the present moment.” Then, I relax and continue to bring excellence to all actions, small and big, yield the outcome to the universe and enjoy this very present moment. For it is the only one I have for sure.
June 2024
Look how far we have come
Do you ever hear a repeated dialogue in your head that sounds something like this? “I am still bad at this…, I should get back to work because I cannot rest until…, I will only be happy when I get … or become …, I am still not where I should be…” A constant and anxious reminder that we are not enough, just as we are.
A friend recently told me how she was still finding it hard to adjust in a new job after a year. She was constantly worrying what she could do to make the transition smoother, and be good enough. After listening to her story, I asked her to perhaps consider a different narrative. She had worked so hard in her previous job to rise to the top of her company in 20 years. She was brave enough to leave behind her senior management role with global responsibilities overseeing thousands of team members to take a few steps back in the ladder for the sake of her long-term career. She had to adapt and learn to work in a new company, industry and region. She successfully settled her entire family in a different continent and everyone is happier. She is not only good enough. She is amazing, wow!
We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes. We focus on our lacks, weaknesses and development areas, instead of appreciating our strengths, talents and achievements. So whenever we find ourselves starting a harsh internal dialogue and launching into frantic spiral of negative thoughts, perhaps try this little exercise.
Become still. Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths. Picture a big movie screen in front of you and watch a movie of yourself. The movie is called „My top 10 most amazing achievements.“ Replay the scenes, one by one. Make the picture big, colorful and bright. Hear what people are telling you. Feel the sense of pride and happiness. See what you see, hear what you hear and feel how you feel. Make them intense, like you are really there.
When the movie is over, open your eyes and take with you a renewed sense of appreciation, confidence, gratitude and positive optimism about yourself. And always remember, you are good enough, just as you are.
May 2024
Easy gratitude habit
“Do not dream of possession of what you do not have. Rather reflect on the greatest blessings in what you do have, and on their account remind yourself how much they would have been missed if they were not there.” – Marcus Aurelius
Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions one can experience. It is a sense of being enough and having enough. Right here and right now. Just as you are. There is no yearning for something new or more in the future. There is no regret about what could have been in the past. Whatever is available in the present moment is sufficient. Anything else, come what may, is a bonus.
According to Greater Good Science Centre at UC Berkeley, gratitude has many health benefits; ranging from increased life satisfaction, happiness, resilience to stress, physical health and better relationships among others. Giving thanks also raises our energy and manifestation powers, creating a positive energy loop.
Fifteen years ago, I decided to start a gratitude journal. I promised myself to list 5 things I am thankful for in my life every day in the journal. It was fun at first. But all too soon, I ran out of new things to be thankful for. So I started skipping entries in the gratitude journal. As days and months passed by, I felt frustrated and disappointed at myself for not being able to keep a simple promise to myself. How hard could it be to write a short daily entry on gratitude? A ritual to enhance my wellbeing had become a burden. I was ungrateful.
So I decided to turn my gratitude ritual into a gratitude habit. I did not want to schedule it in my calendar. Or promise myself to do this or that. Then it would feel like an obligation devoid of joy. Instead, I decided to use water as a cue to practice gratitude. Whenever I get in contact with water, be it drinking water, washing my hands, showering, taking a bath or swimming, it reminds me that I need to give thanks. Since then, my perceptions started to shift. I began to have less desire to buy stuff to fill up a sense of empty void or satisfy a craving inside of me. I felt grateful for all the things I already had, and learnt to cherish them dearly. I felt fuller and more complete day by day. So, perhaps find your cue to practice gratitude throughout the day. Easy, simple and stress-free habit. Everyday.
April 2024
Simple solutions for endless thoughts
Do you identify yourself primarily with the endless stream of thoughts in your mind,? Do you feel like your thoughts are running your life? You are not alone. Scientists estimate that an average individual has around 60,000 thoughts a day. This works out to roughly 40 thoughts a minute or a thought every 1.5 seconds. What is more, these countless thoughts trigger emotions and drive behaviors. So same thoughts reinforce more of the same emotions and behaviors over and over again. If you don’t want the same thought emotion behavior repeat situation, there is a simple three-steps solution.
First, realize that you are not your thoughts. You are the consciousness – your spirit and soul. An awareness that is watching what is going on. Imagine that your thoughts are programs you find on television or streaming apps such as Netflix or YouTube that your mind has created. Then, your consciousness is you sitting down on the sofa. Watching the screen and deciding whether to scroll the endless categories, watch the previews, fast forward the program and shut down the program.
Second, watch your thoughts as they arise, as if you are watching a movie. Acknowledge them without judgement. And let them go. Don’t hold on to them or jump into the movie screen to get involved. The more you observe something without getting attached and let go, the less power they will have over you as time goes by. If helpful, imagine throwing away the thoughts or emotions like stones or pieces of concrete.
Third, remember that your consciousness is extremely powerful and can overwrite any thoughts. So if you keep having disturbing thoughts that constantly play in your mind like re-runs, you can erase them by yourself. For example, take a paint brush and paint over them with white or black. Make them small and throw them way. Or if you keep hearing your thoughts in a disturbing voice, make that sound hilarious like a cartoon character such as Mickey Mouse. Or say them very slowly because the mind does not like boredom and will soon get tired of listening to them. Alternatively, keep a journal and write down all your thoughts until you can’t write anymore.
If you keep doing the above three steps, over time, you will notice that you do not take your thoughts so seriously. You will identify yourself more with your consciousness than your thoughts. Your spirit and soul – your fundamental core and essence will gain more control over your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. And you will have less thoughts and more opportunities to be present in the moment. You will be free.
March 2024
Meditation
If I were to ask you to name your most favorite self-care activity, what would it be? Feel free to choose whichever feels right and nurtures you. For me, that is meditation. If you are interested in meditation, please read on. Else move on and invest the time to enjoy your favorite self-care activity.
I have been meditating on and off for nearly 30 years. About 3 years ago, when I reached my second rock bottom, I started taking meditation seriously. Because for the first time in my life, I decided not to go fast in a wrong direction. But instead, to be brave enough to become still and figure out my right direction before setting out to continue my journey.
Every day, I meditate about 2 hours. Because it allows me to nurture all of myself. Mentally and physically, by becoming aware and shedding beliefs, feelings, thoughts, identities and suppressed memories that no longer serve me. Spiritually and emotionally, by focusing my awareness, growing my consciousness and listening intensely to my intuition and more. I can become more comfortable with emptiness, silence, present moment and uncertainty. And ultimately discover glimpses of oneness, infinite potential, energy and information in limitless space, time and beyond space and time. The more I practice, the longer my glimpses become. Motivating me to continue my mediation practice and creating a positive loop.
What is more, meditation is easy, zero cost and rule free. You have all the freedom to decide from how long you want to meditate to what kind of meditation you want to pursue. So if you are considering to give meditation a try, here are three simple tips.
One, feel free to experiment and choose from any of the 3 types of meditation. One is focusing on an internal or external object or action, such as your breath, chanting, candle, or washing your hands. It can help reduce anxiety, anger, insecurity, depression, fear and bring wisdom. Two is thinking about a specific topic, such as compassion or love. It helps us to discover and develop ourselves positively Three is visualizing a movie and experiencing all senses and feelings intensely. It helps us to improve performance, self-confidence and relieve stress and pain.
Two, try to meditate every day. Opt for 2, 10 or 20 minutes each day instead of 2 hours once a week. If you cannot find dedicated time for meditation, try a free meditation app that you can listen to anytime, anywhere.
Three, be patient and kind with yourself. Do not expect miracles overnight. You may not achieve immediate feelings of peace and calm. In fact, you may notice uncontrollable thoughts bubbling every couple of seconds. Simply acknowledge them and let them go. And trust that there is progress. Every meditation practice you do is a step forward in the right direction.
February 2024
What are spirit & soul?
“You’ve gotta take care of your mind, your body, your spirit, your soul, your health.“ – Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase & Co
Have you ever wondered what are spirit and soul? You kind of get mind. You definitely understand body. But wait. No one taught about spirit and soul in school, let alone define them. Plus, they may mean different things to different people. If you do not know what spirit and soul are, you are not alone. For most of my life, I had no idea what they were too.
What is spirit?
Spirit is a greater awareness that wants to develop, grow and transcend itself. It is not earth bound and is connected with a superior force or being – be it God, universe, nature or larger power. It is entirely up to you to define what the superior force or being means to you. Activities that nurture spirit include learning something new, spending time in nature and praying.
What is soul?
Soul is in touch with the ordinary details of life on earth. It yearns to express itself, enjoy experiences and make connections with other beings. Activities that nurture soul include cooking, appreciating food and having a lasting relationship with a soul mate, family or friends.
Are spirit and soul the voices we hear in our heads?
Most people confuse voices in our heads as our spirit and soul. On the contrary, they are a conscious awareness, which observes what is happening around and within us. Although they are intangible and non-physical, spirit and soul are our fundamental core and essence. Illustratively speaking, they are our north star, while voices in our heads are temporary clouds passing in the sky.
Why is it important to take care of our spirit and soul?
At some point in our lives, especially when the end is approaching, some of us may wonder. Is there something else beyond body and mind? Is there such a thing as spirit and soul? Do they survive over lifetimes? The simple answer is yes to all of the above. For those who may not believe any of this, that is absolutely okay too. It is entirely up to you to decide whether you want to take care of your spirit and soul or your spiritual and emotional health. Or stop at body and mind, or physical and mental health. Only you can decide what is best for yourself.
But two things are certain. One, taking care of our spirit is important because we can connect with higher sources for infinite information, amazing creativity, important guidance and unconditional support. And taking care of our soul is crucial because without proper care, we may lead a life of loneliness, emptiness devoid of authenticity. Two, just as it takes time and effort to take care of our mind and body, it takes time to nurture and connect with our spirit and soul. The earlier we start, perhaps the better prepared we will be for the end and live a much more fulfilling life. For tomorrow is not promised for anyone.
January 2024
Self-care: Why, how and what
“Go back and take care of yourself. Your body needs you, your feelings need you, and your perceptions need you. Your suffering needs you to acknowledge it. Go home and be there for all these things.” – Thich Nhat Hanh.
Do you sometimes feel drained after a tiring week, running around from one appointment to the next, checking off things from an ever growing to-do-list and fulfilling the never ending needs of everyone around you? Finally you have a chance to lie down and relax but soon realize that you are starting another mental to-do-list for next week. You say to yourself “This is it. It is finally time to take care of myself first.” So you start googling ideas for self-care, only to see a bunch of random ideas ranging from taking a bath to enjoying a massage to treating yourself to something special. But you don’t have time or energy or motivation to do that. And when you do, the bliss from the ad-hoc self-pampering stint crumbles at the sight of the next wave of stress.
Studies suggest self-care enhances our sense of well-being, longevity and health. But for something so vital to ourselves with obvious benefits, why are we not prioritizing it? How should we go about it? What should we do every day?
Why
We need to care for ourselves because the buck ends with ourselves. Everything and everyone around us may influence or affect us. But the reality is that ultimately, everything we experience is through ourselves, no one else. With self-care, we are aiming to love ourselves unconditionally, nurture and grow our full potential as human beings, and actively maintain and enhance a harmonious state for ourselves so that whatever comes our way, we are better prepared to live with love, joy and peace. This will liberate ourselves from blaming everything and everyone else. To take responsibility and ownership over ourselves and circumstances. To honor our precious and splendid selves. To live our most fulfilling lives.
How
There are just two simple tips for self-care. One, it has to be done continuously. It cannot be an emergency switch we turn on whenever our batteries run low or we crash into a wall. In fact, if we find ourselves running out of time for self-care, that may be a sign that we need it most. For making it an ongoing practice, the second tip is to make self-care as easy as possible so we can sustain it without taking too much of our precious time. For example, I only schedule three things from my self-care ritual in my calendar (meditation, exercise and reflective learning). I do them first thing in the morning so they get done and the rest of the day is golden. I try to do them consistently, even if it is as short as 2-5 minutes.
What
It is essential to take excellent care of all of ourselves, our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. Do you remember a time when you felt sores in your body, a pain so deep that your mind could no longer concentrate, you had no desire to do or learn anything whatsoever and you constantly snapped at your family and friends for no good reason? Alternatively, you woke up one day with a desire to try out something new, your body was full of adrenaline, your mind came up with multiple options you could try out, and people felt drawn to your enthusiasm and creative ideas sprang up naturally. Our spirit, soul, mind and body are interconnected, so we need to nurture all of them.
Now that you know why, how and what to do for your self-care, will you consider prioritizing it in your daily routine? If you do, you will feel better. Soon, everyone around you will feel good being around you. And you will be making the world a better place just being you.